Why a JOB should NEVER be your #1 priority!

The topic that we love to hate. Work! We hate it, we envy it, we are fed up with it, we will search high and low to find it and even though we never stop complaining about it, every month when we get paid, we can’t seem to live without it.

Growing up, all I ever saw was older people around me working. I couldn’t wait to be one of them. I couldn’t wait to wake up and get ready every morning, so I could rush on the busy train commute to work. I couldn’t wait to get wait to be in a massive office with hundreds of people working and looking out my window and seeing an incredible view of London’s skylines. But it was far from that! Ever since I hit the legal age to work I have never found somewhere that values me, my time, my efforts. I found myself moving from job to job, some experiences good and others were a complete and utter nightmare. But one thing that I did learn from those experiences and being in the working environment is NEVER prioritise your 9-5 more than other important things happening in your life.

To many of these companies that we work for we are replaceable. One false move and that’s it. You’re out. It’s sad – but for many places that’s how the system works. I know – I’ve been there. This is why it is always important to put yourself and the most important things and people in front of a job. www.iamtiffany.co.uk (5)

We feel like our whole lives is centred around having a job. We spend approximately an hour each way travelling into work, spend 8 hours or sometimes more at work, come home and gossip about what a cheeky bitch your manager is and then wake up and do it all over again. But when we suddenly get sacked, made redundant or get a disciplinary, we become heartbroken – devastated in fact. You think how will i ever go on. (Talk about drama). This is an example of making your 9-5 job your everything.

 

 

Here are 5 steps on how to not put your job first:

  1. Spend time with the people closest to you

Sometimes with the hustle and bustle of work, we get so caught up in with the day to day duties and the hardships that some work environments can bring, that we often forget about spending time with the people we love the most. We make excuses that we are tired, busy and just generally do not have the time anymore. By doing this, you are allowing your job to have a negative impact to those you consider close to you. Never be this person. Always take the time out to put them first before your work, because the time will come when you need them just as much as they needed you.

 

2. Never bring work life home with you

This is something we can’t help sometimes. You have been wound up all day and when you finally get home its like an explosion has suddenly occurred. You can finally get whatever it is that was dying to come out of your chest. But I have realised that when we do this, we are bringing everything we experienced at work and all of our so called “work drama” into the comfort of our homes. A place that is meant to be our sanctuary is being distressed by work life. I know it can be hard, but practice before you step inside your front door to leave your work life outside. This can not only affect the relationships that you share with your close ones inside your home, but it can also affect yourself.

 3. Take up an extra activity

By taking up an extra activity like going to the gym, signing up to a yoga class, going to dance class – this can be a way to relax our minds and focus on something else. Sometimes we need this! An extra activity can do a lot for us, especially if we find ourselves so consumed in our work life.  5 tips on how to not put your job 1st.png

 4. Develop a skill that you feel very passionate about

Many times, when we start working we tend to lose focus of the things we are passionate about. Make it a priority to set some time out so that you can focus on developing the things that you find passionate about. If you don’t know, then get a notepad out and start writing down all the things that you loved to do but no longer do them anymore. You never know, that skill could lead to something profitable in the long run!

 5. Have FUN!

THIS IS SIMPLE! But why do we fail to do it so often. We are still young, so making sure that happiness and having fun is still at the centre of our lives among everything is so vital. We work so hard on a day to day basis that we forget to have fun until we realise that we are drained on every level imaginable. Even if it means taking a short trip with your friends for the weekend to enjoy and explore parts of the world you’ve always wanted to see – then go for it.

 

Love,

tiff xoxo

 

 

 

REFLECTION – reasons why it will always be important!

Happy Sunday everyone!

What does your Sunday look like? The final end to our week! For some, they dread it because they know the depressing Monday morning syndrome is only a sleep away. However, for others it is a time to reflect on the week they had. What went well, what didn’t go so well, what are your goals for the upcoming week. For me, Sundays are always a reflective one and of course the excitement for Sunday dinner is real people!

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As I lay in bed with my laptop placed on my lap, my hot water bottle firmly on my stomach and my eyes filled with that “good sleep eye bogies”, I was in two minds of what to discuss in this post. And then it came to me – REFLECTION. To be able to reflect is important. It is what truly shapes the decisions we make in the future and why we made them. Not all our decisions will be GREAT – even though in that moment you may have thought it was the best decision you could make, it could end up being a really bad decision which has negative impacts on yourself and people around you. This has happened to me hundreds of times, trust me it is normal.

You may have lashed out on someone you love without talking to them in a civilised manner first. You may have had a crappy week at work because you’ve been over piled with work commitments. You may have had the best week because you got a work promotion, you’ve found a way to monetise your passion, you’ve started dating this really cool guy or maybe the guy you’ve been talking too has suddenly aired all your messages and now you find yourself in bed looking at your phone every 5 minutes while binge watching Netflix. Whatever it is! REFLECT.

BestEver Cookie Recipes

When you reflect on your days, your weeks, your months, you can really pinpoint what the highlights were for you and what wasn’t. Even if it appears everything went complete “tits-up” – it’s important to find a good highlight even if it is the smallest thing.

At any stage you are in life, we are all learning. Learning in our 20’s, learning as students, learning as parents, learning as CEO’S, managers, employees, you name it. YOU ARE LEARNING! The only way we can fully learn and grow from experiences that we have is if we make it a habit to reflect on those experiences. Instead, when we fail to reflect, we are constantly thinking about and holding experiences (many of them bad) heavy on our hearts. This will never work!

Make it a habit to use one day in your week to reflect and journal about your week and what your plans are for the week ahead and how you aim to get there. This can be really comforting to you.

Why should I reflect?

Thought you’d never ask. Reflection allows us to gain self-awareness in ways we thought wed never have. It allows you to review your days and experiences so that you can always become better and do better.

Here are the benefits:

You are not carrying any personal baggage.

I found that when I don’t reflect, the old baggage I had from the week before will always find its way to creep into the week I am currently having. It becomes annoying and draining to say the least. Therefore, being able to start each day and each week as a fresh slate is extremely important.

You can learn from your mistakes.

When we don’t reflect, we are more inclined to make the same mistakes that we keep making. You will never learn, even if people are telling you, you always have to be the one to look into yourself and learn from your own mistakes and failures so that you can be the best possible version of yourself.

It gives you perspective

Perspective. This is something that is so important. We get so wrapped up in our daily lives that we often forget that we need to take a step back and think. You begin to realise that things that have allowed us to become upset and angry are nothing worth getting mad about and in reality, they are not that important. When you take a step back and look into the situation from a bird-eye view you start to realise what really is important to you.

You can be better and grow.

Be better and grow are literally some of my favourite words. never fall into the trap of being stagnant. To grow we need to reflect. What makes us better? What will allow us to grow? What are your strengths and your weaknesses and how can you build on these to be a better version of you?

Love,

tiff xoxo

 

How to think RICH!!!

What does it mean to be rich to you? Nice car? Beautiful house? Dining in fancy restaurants and living it up on expensive holidays? We see people flaunt their money and jewellery on Snapchat and Instagram while we sit back, watch and wish we could be like them. But I will let you in on one secret. These people are not rich at all!

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The wealthiest people in the world will never have to tell you how much money they have. These people prefer to look and dress simple, whilst also staying out of the spotlight – but behind closed doors they are making an absolute fortune.

For some reason, our generation believe that flaunting things for image on social media is the definition of being rich. But, we all have no idea!

Last year, I really studied and educated myself on what wealth really means and it became apparent to me that many young people my age as well as the older generation like our parents do not know what it means to be rich. And because of this, nobody teaches others about this, until you yourself have made it a priority to find out about it.

Here are 6 tips on how you can get rich in your 20’s & 30’s

  1. Don’t think of money as a bad thing

We are told that “money is the root of all evil”, “money can’t buy happiness”, “the rich are crooks” – but we will still go to work for 40 hours or more per week for what…MONEY! So how does that possibly make sense? We continue to talk down and loathe others who have plenty of it but continue to do everything we can to get money. Don’t be fooled by what uneducated people continue to say to us when it comes to money – if you are unsure always do your research and find out for yourself. When you learn to really love and appreciate wealth, it will always come in abundance. But, when you are constantly complaining about money, you will end up never having enough. I learnt that money isn’t about living lavish and expensive, it is about being able to make money work for you and using this money to give back and make a real impact in the world. This is the thing that nobody ever talks about. If we follow our parents and contradict our thoughts with our actions, you will never get rich.

2. Being rich doesn’t just mean financially

When we see the term rich, we immediately think of money. Yes, this is true, but not to its entirety. Being rich means being fulfilled in all aspects of your life. You need to feel wealthy in your relationships, your personal life, your career, your spirituality as well as being rich in finances. By striving to just be rich in one thing, will never give you the satisfaction you need in the other most important aspects of your life. You will always feel as if something is missing. This is why there are stories of some of the wealthiest people in the world who have either resorted to some sort of drug or self-destruction because they are missing other wealthy characteristics that need to be in their life. Create balance and if you are not happy – always make sure that your happiness is at the forefront of everything you do!

3. Never keep up with the Jonese’s.

As a society we are constantly observing and comparing. We see our friends with designer garms that cost a fortune and we instantly put ourselves down. We see someone our age driving an amazing car and we instantly put our situation down. We see our friends going on lavish holidays and because we cannot afford to live that same lifestyle we instantly put ourselves down. Little do you know, those designer clothes were on sale, the amazing brand-new car is on finance and that lavish holiday was actually a birthday treat that was saved up for a whole year. Learn not to make comparisons with others and stay or “slay” (as my Instagram friends may call it) in your own lane. Keeping up with the Joneses will only make you in debt, so know what it means to really be financially free and strive towards that.

1.) DON'T THINK BAD OF MONEY

4. Learn to become financially free not just ‘comfortable’

The term financially free means that “you generate enough income and wealth to live on without ever having to work”. People my age are not developing this mindset. When I was younger, I always said that I wanted to be ‘comfortable’. Not free, not independent…but comfortable. I saw other people around me struggling and in my head, I know I didn’t want to be like that growing up and I also thought maybe I will be dreaming too hard if I make a goal to become financially independent, so for me being comfortable was the next best thing. As I grew older and gained more financial intellect, I knew that I needed to strive high. Not in the middle, nor to the side or whatever is below the top. But I needed to always set my goals to the highest possible standard.

5. Read and educate yourself

When I was in school studying I always couldn’t wait for the day when I will be done with education. FINITO! ADIOS! GOOD RIDDANCE! I thought I can’t wait to be over with school, so I never have to study these things again. WRONG! I ended up finishing university and still found myself studying. But this time it was different, because I was educating myself on a life skill that will impact my life in a way like never before. Financial education is something that is a MUST if your goal is to be rich and financially independent. You need to be able to know exactly how to handle money, how to save, the best investment strategies to invest in and ways to truly make money work for you instead of working for money your whole life. Once you do this, you will be so intrigued into other forms of money making and how really accumulate wealth. This amazed me, because for the first time I was learning about something that would really make an impact on my life and future.

6. Get rid of the ‘get rich quick’ mentality

When we see other people with money, we automatically think to ourselves “how can I be in that position and how can I get there FAST!” No. This is all wrong. Wealth takes time, discipline, clarity and believe it or not…failure. I am sure that some of the most successful people in this world could tell you that without failure, they would never have been able to achieve their goals. Be strategic when it comes to your goals and although sometimes there may be a few bumps along the road to financial freedom – try not to be disheartened because with perseverance comes the rewards.

Love,

tiff xoxo

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It all starts with an IDEA!

An idea is all it starts with. Sarah Blakely had an idea to create something revolutionary for women. An undergarment that can give comfort whilst also making it look like you lost 10 pounds – this idea turned into the company we know called Spanx. Mark Zuckerberg had an idea to connect friends together through a social networking system and created what we know today as Facebook. Jack Ma had an idea to create an online marketplace for suppliers and buyers which is worth over $450 billion and is known as Alibaba.

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You get my drift. It all starts with an idea. This idea is then a goal, broken down into tiny pieces of little goals that will help you achieve that big goal. However, in order to achieve the little goals this is followed by action – and I mean constant action. With this follows determination and discipline. You will be tested constantly so learning how to remain focused and disciplined is extremely important. There will be sacrifices made. Late nights, early mornings, you’ll be tired, fed up, maybe broke. Is that something you want just for an idea you thought of whilst on the train going back home from work one evening?

When we first think of a brilliant idea we get all excited. We can’t wait to get home and do research about how we can put this idea into place. But the moment we see just how hard it may be to put this idea into a reality we become weary. The excitement starts to wear off and just like that this idea was nothing but a distant memory. We continue with our lives and do the same things we do day in day out. That’s easier. There’s no risk involved, there’s no extensive research that needs to be carried out. No funding that you need to raise. You just stick to the easier route. Big mistake!

Millions of us in the world today are constantly making these mistakes when it comes to their ideas and that “aha moment”. We go through life it will be so hard to carry out but end up regretting it years down the line.

Why keeping your idea to yourself at first may be the best thing for you

Too many of us rely on the thoughts of many people – our friends, our family, those we work with. How much of you guys reading this can relate? You have great idea; brilliant in fact and you can’t wait to rush home or rush on the phone to either tell your parents, your partner or a really good friend. The moment you tell them it’s like they’ve just ripped your idea into thousand pieces and thrown it in the bin. “You have to be realistic” they say. “Be real” They say. “No-one has really don’t that around here” they say. “Hmmm good idea, but there may be a chance it may not work out”, they say. Nobody will ever say why your idea is great, but they will always say why your idea won’t work not necessarily because they don’t want you to succeed but they are scared you will fail.

That is why at first, it may be best to keep your idea to yourself. Nobody can influence your actions and mindset except for yourself. In their infancy, ideas are fragile. There is no sense of clear purpose that is established with this idea, nor is there goals put into place so you can start seeing the vision come to life. Ideas need to be protected

 

3 things that may help you:

1) Create an ideas book
Everyday write down at least one idea that you have come up with. No matter how big the idea may be – WRITE IT DOWN. By keeping a habit of writing down your ideas this will trigger your creative brain to start working. By the end of the week, sit down and review your ideas and I guarantee you will shock yourself with the amount of amazing things you came up with in the space of a week. If there is one idea in particular that stands out to you, develop it further. Write down the purpose of this idea, who it will benefit and why it is important to you. Once you have done this and have established clear goals, it is all down to you to act upon it.

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2) Read
And no I don’t mean a few pages in the daily gossip magazine who gives a tell all of how one of the Kardashian sisters has a baby with their ex boyfriends brother. I mean, I would be lying if I said that wouldn’t be exiting to read. But, I am talking about a different kind og reading. Books that you can learn from and can develop. Reading cab be a sense of inspiration – we start to learn things that we never knew before and pick up certain ideas that we build on. Get research now.

3) Get researching

This is the most important aspect when you are building on your idea. Without research how can you possibly know how well you can create this vision into a reality. When you do carry out your research, find out if there is anyone else doing what you want to do. If there is, don’t worry – that may be leverage for you. You can think of what may be the good and the bad aspects of their business idea and what one unique thing can you bring. Research important findings and facts that you need, research different types of people you may need to network with, research how you can make your idea bigger and better. RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH!

Why are ideas so important?

We underestimate just how important the ideas we come up with can be. For many, they will be a part of our daily thought processes – we mostly forget about them and continue to live our lives. But for the others, they can’t think of nothing else other than this idea. They build on it, they put in the work and by the time you know it, this tiny idea that they came up with has transformed not only their lives, but the lives of millions.

Love,

tiff xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

20 Things you Should Ask Yourself in Your 20’s!!!

Our 20s! For some of us it is the best time of our lives. We no longer consider ourselves teenager.
We are adults! We can go clubbing, drink alcohol, make decisions on our own (even 20 questions you should ask yourself in your 20'sthough they may be completely rubbish decisions – but we learn from it right?) and for some of us it’s the start of university life.
For many of us, we go through our 20s breezing through life – thinking we kind of have an idea of what we are doing, but, we have no idea. Until, we are 29 and suddenly think “Oh crap, I’m about to be 30 next month”, what have I done other than gone out every weekend for a cheeky cocktail and girls’ night. We should be constantly asking ourselves “what is it I want to do while I am in my 20s”.
Your 20s represent a sense of freedom, fun and a decade filled with fantastic memories that you will remember when you’re old and grey.

 

Here are 20 questions you should be asking yourselves:

1) What things do I want to achieve before I turn 30?
This is important. Sometimes when we are young and fabulous and have not much responsibilities we tend to not think much about the future. But for some of us, we will turn 30 and think what on earth did I achieve in my 20’s except for going out every weekend. It is just as important to set clear goals on everything you would love to achieve before you turn 30. That way you will turn 30 feeling grateful that you have achieved so much and are ready for the next chapter of your life.
2) What is on my bucket list of things to do?
Create a bucket list and write down all the things you would love to do in your 20’s. Some of the most adventurous things that you would never do in your day to day life.
3) What country would I love to visit and why?
For some of us, travelling has become a massive requirement in our lives. There is anything from party islands where we can rave all night long and get completely drunk without having to worry about anything in the world to going to countries that touch our hearts in ways we never thought would. We now live in a society were us 20-year-old somethings would discuss with their friends about going on a trip today, book it the next day and are flying out a few days after. We are nothing like the generation before. We are adventurous and take risks. We realise that there is a world out there beyond anything we ever imagine. Being able to embrace different countries and cultures is
vital.
4) Am I developing as a person?
Well, are you?! I never thought to ask myself this question until I turned 23. I made it a mission to constantly read and develop myself. You cannot live life being stagnant. Everything changes in this world and if you’re not, this is a massive problem. What type of person do you want to be in the next 6 months, a year, 5 years perhaps? In our 20’s we learn that not everything is perfect. There will be imperfections and certain qualities we wish we didn’t have. However, if we are always looking into ourselves and want to develop as time goes on, you will be ready for the next chapter in your life.

5) Am I having fun?
Have fun! Enjoy your 20’s as much as you possibly can! These are your 20’s. I hear most people referring to their 20’s as if it was the best chapter they experience filled with immense amounts of fun. I want you to be able to talk about your 20’s like this. Being able to live the best possible life you can during this decade is AMAZING! We get so caught up in the pressures of life and society that we feel like having fun all the time is slacking off. NO! You are simply creating memories that will be with you for a lifetime.
6) What is my passion and purpose?
What are you passionate about? Sometimes we don’t know what our passions are straight away and that is okay. But overtime, you will and when you identify them it’s important to never put your your passions to one side. Always find a way to build on that passion. It could be something you do in your spare time, you could develop this passion into a career, or you could use this passion to help
other people. Whatever it is, build on it!
7) Which relationship had the most impact on me during my early teens and going in my 20’s?
The people that we had a close relationship with in our 20’s can actually shape the person we are once we go into our 30’s. Whether the relationship was negative or positive – there will be some learning that you have done from this.
8) Am I helping my close ones?
Even though we want positive people in our lives who are constantly helping and uplifting us, we also need to ask if we are doing the same for those who are close around us. Life is about give and take. Inspire those around you, whilst they also inspire you to do great things.
9) What kind of person do I see myself spending my life with?
By the time we get to our mid/late 20’s – we will start to attend the weddings of the friends we grew up with and the thought of marriage and settling down becomes hot topic among our friends. But before rushing into anything, this is a time in your life where, if you are single, it is great to start dating and looking for qualities in that you would love in a partner.
10) Am I being healthy and taking care of my physical and mental body?
I always thought because I am slim I don’t need to do any form of exercising. I was wrong! Your body is your temple and in your 20’s our bodies are at its prime. Being able to feed our bodies with the best foods and keeping fit is important.
11) Do I keep comparing myself to other people?
I just wrote a post on this before and it is one of the most important things when you’re at such a crucial age in your life. when you compare yourself with other people, you will always be competing with someone. Make sure the only person you are competing with is yourself.
12) What and who gives me the most happiness in this world?
If it is not making you happy, remove it from your life – simple! Sometimes we waste our 20’s giving too much energy into things or people that make us unhappy, but we continue to be wrapped up in that life even when we are aware of it.

13) Where do I want to be financially before I turn 30?
Finances is a big one. Have you written down your financial goals and how much you would like to earn in the next year or two. For me, I want to be financially free before I turn 30 – so constantly learning about how to grow my finances and make money work for me is an important topic. So thinking about your finances early on is definitely something you should be doing.
14) Am I saving and investing?
In our 20’s we tend to over indulge. If we want something we buy it – no matter what the cost may be (especially if we are working full time jobs and are still living at home). However, this is a crucial time to start saving and learning about different long-term investment strategies that you can be involved in. Create a budget list and always pay yourself first. The richest man in Babylon is a book that teaches you about the best possible way to handle your finances.
15) What mistakes did my loved ones make that I can learn from and do differently in my life?
Life is about learning. Not only learning from the mistakes you make, but also the mistakes your loved ones made in their life. New generations always have the advantage because we can adapt the positives and avoid anything we think may not be a good idea.
16) Is it time for me to move out?
Moving out for some of us can seem exciting but for the other half of us it can seem like a very daunting thought. But moving out is an experience that will allow us to mature even more. It will take us out of our comfort zone, but this is all apart of growing up. Some people opt to rent and some even go onto save enough to put down a deposit for a mortgage. Whatever it is, it is important to find out what would be best for you and write it down as a goal to accomplish.
17) Have I written down clear precise goals that I want to achieve?
GOALS! Some of us go through life without ever writing down a single goal. When you write your goals down it and look at them everyday you will then be able to subconsciously work even harder to accomplish these goals. Start small. Every small goal achieved overtime will then become a massive goal.
18) Have I thought about the career I want to pursue?
At 4 we were asked the question “what do you want to be when you grow up”. These answers ranged from being Spider-man, an astronaut, a hairdresser, a doctor or one of your toys you used to be complete and utterly engrossed with. But as we get older we start to develop different interests and even then, we are still not clear with who we want to be. When it comes to what career you would like to pursue, take your time and never rush into something you are not 100% sure of. It may be something you have studied or taken a course in and you want to develop this further by doing work experience and experiencing how it will be in the working environment in this particular field. Or, if it is not something you studied, make sure you do your research and also gain valuable experience that will help you in your journey.
19) Am I educating myself about different things?
Self-education is one of the most important things we can ever do in our 20’s. We already think we know it all – so when we start educating ourselves on certain topics, you will realise that you hardly know anything. Ever heard the saying “Knowledge is Power”. This is true. And another thing that you don’t hear is “Action is also Power”. Therefore, it is what you do with your knowledge that truly
matters.
20) Am I showing gratitude?
Being grateful and showing gratitude for even the smallest things in your life can do a lot. Many of us are not appreciative of the things we currently have, as we constantly spend our time moaning and wishing that we had something that we never experienced. This then leads to us never being truly happy with the things we have in our lives at this present moment. Remember to always show gratitude each and every day, this will also make you feel a lot happier.

Love,

tiff xoxo

The only person you should ever compete with is YOURSELF!

Comparing yourself to others will never allow you to find true success

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Making comparisons and secretly being jealous of the other person who is doing better than you. C’mon we have all done this at some point in our lives or are currently still doing this.

“How was she able to get such a great job straight out of graduating from uni? I’ve left uni 2 years now and I’m still working in retail”

“I wish I was able to get a nice car like her”

“Everyone is in a relationship, what is wrong with me?!”

“How does he have so many friends and know so many people? I only have one friend”

“All my friends are earning 30k and I am still earning 9£ per hour?”

“She has bigger boobs than me” – (GIRLS I am actually giving you the side-eye right now from behind my computer screen)

Truth is….you have thought of ATLEAST one of the above right?!

When it comes to making comparisons, we do this all the time and sometimes we just honestly cannot help it. We expect our lives to be a certain way. We have high hopes, goals , expectations and when things don’t go as planned in our own lives, it becomes easier for us to look at someone else who is doing well and has everything you have dreamt of having at this stage in your life. Then that is when comparisons come into play, which then lead to self-pity and jealousy.

Doing this only ever made me feel worse. It can make you feel like you are constantly trying to play a game of catch up with people who aren’t even aware of what success means to you. How can you get over this?

Here are 3 tips on how to stop comparing yourself with others:

  1. FOCUS ON YOURSELF

Always stay in your lane! When we start focusing on other people and making their successes affect what we need to do in our own personal lives, that is when it becomes a real issue. It took me awhile to learn that life isn’t about ‘secretly’ competing with your friends or people you know. The only person you should ever be competing with is you and only you….nobody else. Growing up, sometimes I felt like life was a race. A ‘who could get there first’ sort of race. When I was experiencing not being on the same level as close people around me it started to bother me, as with everyone who has ever felt this way.  This was because I always thought that if I wasn’t at the same level as people around me, for example my good friends – this meant that my life wasn’t going the way I wanted it too. I constantly felt that they were doing better than me.

When in fact, I had it all wrong. I had growing to do. I had to realise that to be the person I want to be and to achieve certain goals I need to focus on myself and constantly stay in my lane.When you start to entirely focus on yourself, you push new boundaries and start to achieve goals you thought you never would.

2. BE TRULY HAPPY FOR OTHERS.

This is another massive one! When we see people doing better than us, we start to covertly be envious of them. We may say we are happy for them on the surface but internally we are screaming and wishing that it was you not them. This is never the way! Remember what I said before – focus on yourself and this includes being truly happy for others who are doing well in the process. It is also important to be genuine when we say that we are happy for others. Understand that there is more than enough room for us all to succeed, it may just take longer or shorter than the other person around you. Be happy that you have friends have so much amazing things happening in their lives. Yes, I understand that it may be a lot harder for you to be happy for someone else when it feels like your life is falling apart. You’re only human! However, realise that whatever energy you put out in the universe plays a great impact on your life and future.

3. BE INSPIRED

Instead of being jealous or wishing you was someone else, make their achievements inspire you to do better. Our energy feeds off the people we spend the most time around. Therefore, if you have people in your life who are constantly doing great things, your brain will also work harder to also achieve great things. I am always inspired and motivated by what my friends are doing, if you’re not, you probably should find friends that will do that for you.

I know life can be a whirlwind of emotions and sometimes that can result in us not being happy with certain circumstances happening in our lives. However, if we consistently focus on ourselves and make sure that we are the only one that we are in competition with then we will always win. Life is not a race, nor is it about who can get to the finish line first. The only way we win, is if we focus on ourselves.

 

Love,

tiff xoxo

 

Best friend or Seasonal friend – which one do you have?!

Who had that friend that they thought they would have forever in their lives?

All of you reading this right?

When “Best Friend” by Young Thug would come on in a club you would reach for your friend no matter how dark it may be and shout the lyrics to your friend while snapchatting of course.

Then suddenly you get in a massive argument, you start to drift or maybe you find out they are not the person you thought there was – and boom there it is. You lost your best friend, your best friend, your best friend” – if any of you guys know the lyrics. To be honest I just did a google search of that song and thought it was the most appropriate – I mean…I must admit I’m not the most up to date person when it comes to songs, I’m still in my 90s/2000s Rnb phase, I’m sorry!

However, when we were younger, our friends felt like they were everything to us. I had that one fiend growing up who would see each other at school all day, after school she would come to my house until her mum picked her up after she had finished work and we would still find ourselves on the phone texting each other before we got to bed – to repeat the same thing over again the next day.

Then as you get older, your life changes and so does your priorities. But if you constantly make time and our always growing together and being there for each other – that relationship should never change.

As I got older, I understood that a friendship is like a full-on relationship. you invest so much of your time and energy into that one person or a group of people. You will have arguments, disagreements, you’ll share some of the best moments of your life and tell them things no one else will ever know.
You need to realise that if that friend or a group of friends you had was always going to be in your life, they’ll still be in it.

The problem maybe that as you’re evolving you need friends that are evolving too. As you are evolving as a person and as a human being you cannot be going backwards, which is why your friends will always play a vital role in your growth.

You need friends who are flourishing, learning, educating themselves and who genuinely make you happy. Sometimes many of us feel that because we have known that friend for most of our lives and we don’t want to let go, we do everything in our power to hold on to a friendship and relationship that is not going anywhere.

If you feel like you are physically and emotionally drained by your own friendship or friendship group and have expressed how you feel multiple times with nothing changing – it may be time for you to let that go!

Only put your energy into friendships that are willing to do the same for you. Some people tend to get so comfortable with you just being there and doing so much for them that they forget that a friendship only works if it is two ways.

friend

Our friends will always reflect who we are – just like our romantic partners. As humans we are highly influenced by those who are close to us in our lives.

Therefore, when certain friends started dropping like flies when you grew older and you failed to understand why, it was because they were never your friend(s) to begin with. They were probably something I call a “seasonal friend” – you know, that friend you have for a specific time in your life that you always learnt from whether good or bad.

In life, we need these lessons that will enable us to grow from that specific ‘season’ in our lives. This is not exactly a bad thing. If we didn’t have these friends, we will never be able to establish what a true friend really is.

You need friends who encourage you, motivate you, who are there when the times are good, as well as when in your time of need.

Most of all, you need friends who can hold your head back when your puking in the toilet from drinking too much the night before and made a complete ass of yourself in front of the guy you fancy. (Oh boy, I’m sure many of you have experienced that in your life time).

No matter what chapter of your life you are experiencing, if that is truly your friend they will always be by your side. But if not, don’t be afraid to let that go. Well – communicate first and express your feelings, but if nothing seems to change then you can let it go.

Why continue to put all your energy into a friendship and relationship that becomes emotionally and physically draining to you?

Love,

tiff xoxo

TIME – why it is so important to live in the moment.

Since starting my blog, I have never realised just how much writing can be like a sense of therapy. Before, I used to feel certain feelings and instead of expressing them, I would hold it in and by doing this would honestly drive me crazy. This was because all I used to do was think all day long. But now, writing has become my outlet. Instead of thinking so much I write – whatever the circumstance.

Firstly, can you believe we are mid-February already? It is basically March, considering that Feb is such a short month and the days seem like they flash before our eyes and by the time we know it, we are all saying “Thank God it’s Friday” – all over again. But, why do we constantly want time to go so fast? When Monday comes, we can’t wait until Friday, when winter comes we can’t wait until summer, when summer comes we can’t wait until winter, when we are at school or at work, we cant wait to finish – until we realise that are whole lives are spent waiting for time to pass, that we forget to embrace the time we are currently in.

This was me! My life started to feel robust. I would say things I said the day before and the day before that – and this all consisted of me wanting time to go faster. I couldn’t stand being in the moment I was currently in because I was always waiting for something better to come. When you do this you never have time to enjoy your NOW because you are constantly complaining and waiting.

As I grew older it just seemed like the normal thing to do, but once I started this journey I have come to a realisation that this isn’t normal at all. As a society, we are never truly in the moment because unconsciously we all have this idea that the next moment we have will be better and more important than our present time situation. We end up missing and wasting our whole lives away and then upon reflection (once we have 4 kids, a husband and 101 bills to pay) we start wishing we would get those same moments back.

It is a process. For me, I feel like I need to have more fun. Sometimes I feel like I am so engrossed in work and other commitments that I forget to actually have fun, to let loose. To laugh! I caught myself a few days ago saying “Oh I just cannot wait until summer comes” because I have so much things planned to do in my head. But when I think about it now that shouldn’t be a reason to block my blessings and how I live my life in the present day.

I spend all my time from the morning to the night, working to get some goals ticked off my goals list each day and never have I once said remember to live for today. Before I go to bed I am thinking of what I need to do the next day, I imagine what I want my dream house to look like, what my future children will look like, what I am going to have for dinner the next day (even though I haven’t gone to sleep and woken up to have breakfast). Don’t ask, but food has always been a reoccurring thought of mine. I forget to reflect on my day I had, whether good or bad, as well as just laying in bed and fully being in the moment with time.

eau de parfum

We are either always pondering about the past or thinking about the future, but we never want to embrace were we currently are. We fail to realise that we will never get certain moments again and life should be about living NOW not wondering what we should have been doing yesterday or what we want to do tomorrow.

I have learnt that meditation is one thing that can get us in the moment and relax our minds. When we meditate we are fully in tune with our bodies and our thoughts instead of letting our thoughts run crazy and wishing it was tomorrow even though you haven’t even gone through half the day. My problem is that even though I know this, I meditate sporadically, which I know I need to change and start being consistent as it is something that really helps my mind and body.

Time is such an important aspect in our lives on a daily basis, however we choose to abuse it and not take the time out to really appreciate it. Instead we emphasise how much time is going fast or how slow it is going. Even though there may be so much going on in our lives and it can feel like we can just about keep up, we need to live for today and live in the moment. If not, we’ll be constantly worrying about yesterday and tomorrow, and trying to quickly get through the current day we’re living in.

Love,

tiff xoxo

How not being in the right environment can block your greatness!

When I entered the workforce, I realised that all people do is complain. They complain about work, having no money, being late, being tired and how Karen from the finance team had a fling with Paul from the I.T department. That became DRAINING. It sucked every bit of life out of me from Monday – Friday and on Saturday all I wanted to do was sleep, while Sunday I would dread going back in Monday morning.

 
This is an example of an environment negatively affecting your greatness inside of you. When we are so conditioned to a certain environment, we start to adapt and pick up the unhealthy habits of other people because it seems natural – everyone is doing it right? No, what everyone is doing is blocking their success without even realising.

 
You must be willing to destroy everything in your life that is not excellent. We were put on this earth to be the best possible versions of ourselves. Instead we waste it and opt for trying to fit in an environment that is negatively putting a strain on us.

 

It is important to surround yourself with people who not only see greatness in you, but who have the same vision of excellence as you.

 
The thing that happens to a lot of us is we will think of ways to better our lives and to achieve certain goals, but the moment we step into an environment whether it be our homes, the workplace or so on, we are immediately pushed back. This is merely because others do not and will not ever understand you and your purpose.

 
Our natural disposition is to achieve and be the best, while also protecting it. So, think about the environment you are in right now? Is it helping you be the best you can possibly be? Think about it!

 
If it is not, you need to remove yourself from this to achieve greatness. You need to realise that once you start this journey, many will look at you like you are being weird or unnatural. Well in fact, it is very natural. They are the ones who are being disconnected from their nature and from what they are born to do.

 
I never realised my environment was bad for me until I started to write my goals down and be on a journey of self-development. It quickly became apparent to me that I was the only person doing this in my household, at work and among my group of friends. I had to be the one to find focus and to re-establish what I needed to do to create a life of wealth – spiritually, mentally, physically and financially.
As young adults, we constantly hit our parents with “I can’t wait to move out”. But why? Do you want your own space? Do you not get along with your parents? Or do you simply just say it because that’s the “in thing” to say when you hit 16? You need to establish if the environment you are in right now is helping you towards greatness and if not why, before even thinking about removing yourself from this. I say this, because 9 times out of 10 we are most likely to bring all the negative baggage we had in our lives before into a new setting.

 
I used to find myself getting so frustrated because I felt like nobody understood me and it was hard to find peace in a world that is constantly rushing and complaining their way through life – without ever sitting down to listen and act on their goals.

 
There are even circumstances, when many of us know the environment we are in is not right for us but are too scared to change it. They are fearful of what other people may say and feel like they are not ready to remove it from their lives because they have been embedded in that way of life for years and that is all they ever know. Yes, it can feel daunting, life is all about being uncomfortable, but when you know something is not right for you, why stay in it?

 
You need to be committed to clean up your environment and create one for you that will only be filled with happiness, love and wealth.

Here is how you can start…
1) Get a journal out and write everything you love and hate about the environment you are in right now.

 
2) Think of ways how you can change the things you hate about the environment your living in to a more positive one. If not, remove it from your life!

 
3) Stop being fearful of what others may think. Your life is there for only you to live. So, live it.

 
4) Start now!!!

 
One of the key points that I had to quickly adopt in my life was to always keep a journal. Because I was constantly writing in a journal this made become mindful of how my environment was affecting my life. I then made it a priority to not only change my environment but change my thinking along with this. If you want to turn your life around and know your environment is playing a part in this, be dedicated to live the life you know deserve.

 

Love,

tiff xoxo

Is University really for you?

The time has come. Personal statement written up and checked over more than 100 times. References done. And you have chosen your 5 universities that you want to apply too. Now there seems to be just one little problem. You are not sure if you are making the right decision! I mean, that’s a very big problem if you ask me.

Going to university is something that is beyond daunting. Many of us are fresh out of college or sixth form and decide that we want to go to university to study a degree of our choice without fully knowing why. In this society we live in, there is this preconceived notion that going to university is the crème de la crème when it comes to education. But is really? From before I attended secondary school I knew I was going to university, simply because everyone told me that I had to work hard in order to get really good grades so that I can start applying once I hit Sixth Form. I had an idea of what I wanted to do since I was in primary school and stuck with it because it was all I ever knew, and I was afraid to open my mind to other options. This was mainly because everyone expected me to go to university and because of this I felt like there was no other choice.

University is such a big step in your lives and it is so important to know why you want to go. You need to stay true to yourself because it will be you and only you who will be committing 3 years or more to studying a degree – no one else.

Here are 5 reasons you may be unsure:

  1. You feel pressured because all your friends are going.

Many people including myself suffer from FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. We feel like we have to do all of the things our friends are doing and if we don’t we can’t stand never knowing what the experience would have been like. Sometimes this can actually back fire on you. As young people we all want to feel involved, excepted and a part of something, but your heart needs to be in it too as the fear of missing out won’t be enough.

      2. Your family is excited, but you aren’t!

This can be an obvious sign that university may just not be for you. You don’t seem enthusiastic or keen to talk about it and you just feel like it is more of an obligation rather than a choice. Whereas your parents on the other hand are already planning your graduation party from before you’ve even attended university and are calling family members to inform them that you will soon be heading off to uni. How proud they are of you! This is exactly the problem. We see how excited our parents and loved ones get and we constantly feel like we cannot let them down and going to university will be for them, so you can make them proud. Wrong! Going to university is about YOU. It’s all about YOU. Your parents may feel disappointed at that moment, but when it comes to certain life choices, only you will know what is best.

       3. You’re not 100% sure about your degree choice

Many of us fall into the trap of not being sure of our degree choice but we attend uni anyway because we don’t want to miss out. However, half way through the year we discover that we actually don’t even like or enjoy what we are studying and either end up changing our course, continuing with it anyway, or just dropping out. Making sure that we are choosing the right degree choice is the number one factor when you are applying for university. So, if you are unsure about the degree you have chosen it may be best to communicate with your loved ones about this and to explore other options that maybe you didn’t even know about. I know many young people who had opted to have a gap year to travel, so that they could discover different avenues to themselves they didn’t know existed. Sometimes going on a gap year can really shape who you are as an individual, as you are able to take a back seat from the educational system and really get in tune with the world – whether that means going travelling or taking sometime out to really find yourself and the things you love.

      4. Your goal is to set up your own business

Some of the most successful business people out there didn’t attend university and this was because they had a vision to set up their own business and didn’t want to waste time in doing so. What many people fail to understand is that when you have plans to set up your own business you will still be doing a lot of learning and self-educating. This may be a lot more challenging than going to university, however if you find something that you are passionate about and have dreams about your business making a real impact in the world then go for it. Many are told that if they want to have their own business they must start a business-related degree at university. In some respects, this may be helpful to what you plan to do, but on the other hand you can also find business apprenticeships, short business courses and many different programme’s that can help you develop your business idea and plan into a successful business.

       5. You want to go straight into the workforce

If what you actually want is to enter the workforce straight away to earn and start saving some money, there is absolutely no problem with that. Sometimes uni is just not for some of us and that is okay. It’s important to find a job where you are truly loving what you are doing and wake up each morning ready to start your day. there are also some jobs out there where you can train and develop within your role and be promoted to bigger positions within the workforce.

A Brief History of Sports (2) (1)

Remember, what ever decision you do make trust your heart and it is important to communicate with the people closest to you about how you may be feeling.

Love,

tiff xoxo